A Lot Of Celebrities Are Being Useless Right Now. Tabs, June 3, 2020


PSSST THE FBI FOUND "NO EVIDENCE OF ANTIFA INVOLVEMENT" IN SUNDAY'S WASHINGTON SHIT. JUST IF YOU WERE WONDERING. So isn't it weird that AG Bill Barr said in a statement, "The violence instigated and carried out by Antifa and other similar groups in connection with the rioting is domestic terrorism and will be treated accordingly." (THE NATION)

But the neighborhood websites went crazy anyway. — NBC News

Also, don't do this. (DOJ)

Barr calls in ... the DEA? Er ... eh? (Buzzfeed)

White House officials asked if they could take over DC Police. — Forbes

Relevant! Old tab! An Internet Guide to Ambiguous Grammar. (McSweeney's)

Hiiii Liz Warren hiiiiii!

Fuck you Kellyanne Conway, hiiiiii. — Talking Points Memo

MAN George W. Bush is so glad he's not Trump. (Washington Post) Wonder who wrote his statement about listening to black people, and not being white dicks.

Sup Joe Biden? You so glad you're not Trump?

"My fellow Americans, we're facing formidable enemies. They include not only the coronavirus and the terrible impacts to the lives and livelihoods, but also the selfishness and fear that have loomed over our national life for the last three years," Biden said, speaking from inside Philadelphia's city hall. "I choose those words advisedly: selfishness and fear."


Why is this night different from all other nights, Dahlia Lithwick? (Slate)

Yes, Politico, I said this already. I am glad someone is listening to me! If This Is Like 1968, Then Trump Is In Big Trouble.

Who else jacked my vibe? Just Kevin Kruse at WaPo.

The Trump campaign asked for media retractions because there's a new truther campaign to deny he gassed Lafayette Park. Media Matters speaks for us too.

Oh, I forgot, there's still coronavirus, and Fox News thinks we should stop doing tests and "learn to live with it." How many Benghazis ago was Benghazi? — Media Matters


Dennis Prager: If The Left Really Cared About Blacks They Would Tell Them To Elevate Their Moral Standards (Joe.My.God) "And that's why I'm voting for Trump."

Trump is trying to threaten NC Gov. Cooper that he might hold the Republican National Convention elsewhere if Cooper can't guarantee they'll let them COVID-orgy-for-Jesus. No. Wait. Don't go. (CNN)

Elisabeth Moss is Shirley Jackson? Sure, Slate, click!

Todayrow is my son Jimmy's 26th birthday, and as I have a drink yestertoday and think about him, and life, and all this fucking everything, I am reminded of when I came home, quite illuminated, from an LA press people drinky thing. I WEPT at him. WEPT! "I AM THE WORLD'S GREATEST WRITER!" I shouted to my 14ish-year-old darling, about how much I had given up for him, my sweet son. "I COULD BE A WAR CORRESPONDENT! I COULD BE IN AFGHANISTAN RIGHT NOW!" He laughed and soothed me. It wasn't till the next day, doubled over with laughter, he said, so correctly, "Mom, who the fuck wants to go to Afghanistan???"

I am so grateful to be old and not in the streets, and not a war correspondent foreign or domestic. I'm not brave anymore. I'm fat and tired. I love you all, stay safe.

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Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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