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A New, Very Gay Larry Craig Court Reply

Wow, we'd gotten so entangled in the Eliot Spitzer sex scandal that we forgot about America's Gays and their leader, Senator Larry Craig of Idaho. What's that unbelievably gay man been up to recently? When not scanning over intern applications, it seems he's still going on about that little airport incident last summer. His lawyers have entered another "reply" to the court of Minnesota, arguing in vain that What He Did was not gay at all. Let's find the most hilariously gay moments of this 42-page document!


First, Larry Craig was not acting disorderly at all. How do we know this? Because, uh, no one was shouting at a "small teenage girl." True! We'll raise that a few more notches -- there were never any girls, of any age or body size, involved in this incident whatsoever:

And those things Larry Craig said while being interrogated? Them's was not "fighting words" at all. They were sweet nothings:

Finally, it seems to be Craig's lawyers' case that the police officer was really the gay one, and that he should go to Gay Jail.

[Reply Brief (PDF) via Muckraked]

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Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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Roger Stone, you got some 'splainin' to do, Mister! Remember all those times Stone swore on his Nixon tattoo that he never had any contact with Russians, wasn't a campaign surrogate, and wasn't tipped off to stolen DNC emails in advance? Like that time he told the Washington Post:

"I've never been to Russia. I didn't talk to anybody who was identifiably Russian during the two-year run-up to this campaign," he said. "I very definitely can't think of anybody who might have been a Russian without my knowledge. It's a canard."

Stone told the House Intelligence Committee the same thing last September, but, LOL FUNNY STORY! Seems that Stone just plum forgot about that time in May, 2016 when Trump communications advisor Michael Caputo asked him to meet with Henry Greenberg, "a man with a Make America Great Again hat and a viscous Russian accent." The Washington Post reports, Greenberg was offering sexxxxy Russian dirts on Hillary Clinton, which Stone and Caputo were only too happy to grab by the pussy. But they just couldn't get there!

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