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A Reminder To You On The East Coast That Mitt Romney Finds Your Travails Hilarious

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Hai East Coast, what's new? Sorry about your DEATH CRANE! We are just chilling here in sunny Californy watching old videos of Mitt Romney accepting his nomination.We were there! It was so great! We went from really really intensely disliking the man to a full-on hatred by the time he was done smirking, lying, mocking Jimmy Carter, smirking more, bearing false witness, making fun of Barack Obama for wanting to do something about global warming, and smirking. Oh wait, what was that second to last one? Yeah, making fun of Barack Obama for wanting to do something about global warming.


Oh yeah. There it is. Look at that disdain! That is the disdain Mitt Romney feels for you, personally and individually, because according to his RNC acceptance speech, we are only supposed to care about our families and not anybody else, and last time we looked, you were not in Mitt Romney's family, or you would not be in these circumstances right now! Hope it helps to warm your frigid toes after your power goes out for however many weeks and you get your Day After blizzard that eated the world.

Good luck Wonkers. We love you.

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Ann Coulter is not impressed with Donald Trump's presumptuous plan to stop ripping babies away from their mothers and sending them to infant prison. For quite a while, Ann has been obsessively lamenting the very idea that American people even have children to "fill their lives with joy," but now (lol, "now") Ann has shifted her rage to immigrant people. Every time you watch her waving her alien-length arms around in a ritualistic frenzy over how shitty liberals are, just remember that we have already seen the emptiness of her soul laid bare. Remember that time she wanted to eat your baby because you got a tax credit?

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Screenshot- Right Wing watch via Fox News
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It's just another Wednesday in an America that snatched kids from their parents and locked them up in old Walmarts. Trump just signed an unneeded executive order ending his heinous child separation policy, but his "the bad guy mobster in a mobster movie" tactics might've had some permanent damage. What remains of the shriveled-up soul of the grand old poor-screwing Republican party has finally had enough.

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