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Abandoned Loser Donald Trump To (Probably) Cancel His GOP Debate

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What's this? Oh no, everyone grab hold of your weeping tissues this minute: Donald Trump is reportedly reconsidering his GOP debate comedy special after even Michele Bachmann suffered a rare fit of inspiration and declined the chance to be humiliated by one of her fellow cartoon characters. This leaves only Ol' Frothy and Ol' Flakey, Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich, to join Trump for the debate, but mechanically speaking a three-person circle jerk is just sort of difficult.


AP reports:

"I have to look into it," Trump told Fox Business Network when asked whether he would host a two-candidate debate.

Trump was most indignant about Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann skipping out.

"She came up to see me four times. She would call me and ask me for advice," Trump said. "She said if she wins, she would like to think about me for the vice presidency. Most importantly, I did a two-hour phone call for her with her people. ... And after all that, she announced she was not going to do the debate. It's called loyalty. How do you do that? It's amazing to me."

That's some serious wizardry right there, Donald Trump, magically making Michele Bachmann appear to have a little bit of dignity. [AP]

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The Trump administration is expected to announce a sweeping plan to reshape the Executive branch this week -- mostly based on a blueprint from the Heritage Foundation and other rightwing think tanks -- to make it easier to isolate and eliminate parts of the government that conservatives don't like. The centerpiece is a proposal to merge the Labor and Education departments to eliminate supposed overlap between the two, because really, isn't all education simply a matter of job training anyway? Trump is already convinced that "community college" is just a fancy euphemism for vocational education, no matter how many times educators try to correct him, so there's a certain warped logic to that.

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Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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