ABC News Makes Great Fertilizer!
For Monday's somber exploitation of the 9/11 attacks, ABC News reporters have bravely purchased some fertilizer and put it in a storage shed.
But wait, there's more. The storage shed is somewhere in the D.C. metropolitan area. Or, in the words of the ABC News Blotter, "only a few miles from the White House and the U.S. Capitol."
More of this imitation bullshit -- also known as ammonium nitrate fertilizer -- after the jump.
With virtually no questions asked, an undercover ABC News team was able to purchase a half ton of one of the world's most dangerous bomb-making materials and move it into a storage shed only a few miles from the White House and the U.S. Capitol.Oh, wait ... now we get it. ABC News producers just made a simple mistake. Oklahoma City, 9/11 -- it's all so confusing.
Despite its use in the bombing of the Oklahoma City Federal Building, there are still no federal laws restricting the purchase of ammonium nitrate, a chemical fertilizer, widely sold at farm supply stores.
It is, after all, the 11-1/2 year anniversary of the OK City bombing!
So, other than clearly having no ideas at all, what is the goal of this "explosive" example of investigative journalism?
Legislation requiring buyers of ammonium nitrate to be registered by the federal government have been blocked by the agricultural industry, according to the Chairman of the House Homeland Security Committee, Congressman Pete King (R-NY).Oh, now we get it. ABC News/Walt Disney Co. wants a federal law to prohibit purchasing crap to put on your lawn, because America is dangerously low on federal laws.
Jesus. It's enough to make us want to watch Katie Couric.
Carl Bernstein must be spinning in his grave.
Wonkette has done its own shocking exposé and discovered the following terror threats within miles or even yards of the White House and/or U.S. Capitol:
* The so-called "reflecting pool" contains enough water to tragically drown 32,000 innocent children, or 285,000 patriotic squirrels.
* Highly toxic empanadas are being distributed mere blocks from the White House; a single shop can produce enough to sicken the entire district in just a few hours.
* Possibly Mexican (terrorist) gardeners working on the actual White House lawn have been seen with makeshift fuel cans full of highly flammable gasoline "for the lawnmowers," while many carry pocket incendiary devices "for smoking."
Furthermore, Wonkette operatives have found that literally thousands of businesses in Washington, Maryland and Virginia are openly selling a wide variety of dangerous goods that are proven killers, including donuts, cheeseburgers, cigarettes, seafood, steak knives, baseball bats, airline tickets, automobiles, bathtubs, refrigerators, rollerblades and dogs. No questions asked! What does that jabbering idiot Pete King think about that?