- There will be no outdoor sleepovers the night before Inauguration, which is sexist against hobos. [DCist]
- D.C. will get a commemorative quarter, just like a real state! The coins will feature Duke Ellington, who, fun fact!, was born in North Carolina. Oh, the city still won't have a senator or a (real) congressperson. [Washington Post]
- In news that will come as a surprise to no one, commuting to D.C. is officially the worst thing in America. [DC Examiner]
- Some hunters shot the shattered the glass window of a daycare, which they apparently mistook for a deer. [WTOP]
- Fancy schoolchildren at Malia and Sasha's new Sidwell Friends School are teasing other fancy school children. [Gawker]
