Advance Teams Of Thugs, Stunt Drivers Sent To London Before G20


President Obama has dispatched an army of sterilization goons to London in advance of the G20 meeting this week. Their task: to remove the gonads of any human who invades the "sterile area" around the president. Obama also sent his driver over early so that he could familiarize himself with the quaint English custom of driving on the wrong side of the road, a practice known locally as "buggery."

And here is a very wacky bit of information: the government actually had Obama's Wagon of Doom shipped over from the US so that the president wouldn't have to ride the filthy Tube to his conference.

In normal times, only finance ministers attend the annual meeting of the world's 20 richest nations. But because the entire world banking and monetary system has completely collapsed, heads of government are attending this year to figure out how to resolve this important problem. That means President Obama will have a chance to wow the world with his cutting-edge comedy routine and interpretive dance performance in the talent show that celebrates the end of this otherwise extremely gloomy annual ritual.

Here comes top-security travelling White House [This Is London]


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