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After Terrible Tornadoes, Eric Cantor Won't Allow Fed Disaster Relief

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This should play well in Missouri next year: House majority leader Eric Cantor (R-Meanie) has blocked federal disaster-relief help for Joplin, where anincredible storm and tornado killed at least 122 people and leveled much of the town. Police and firefighters and ambulance workers are still pulling victims from the rubble, and the Republican House is saying no help for these people from the federal government unless a bunch of programs the Republicans hate (all of them, except for defense industry no-bid contracts) are de-funded. Why not just wear monster masks and go around scaring babies, too?


House Majority Leader Eric Cantor said Monday that if Congress passes an emergency spending bill to help Missouri’s tornado victims, the extra money will have to be cut from somewhere else.

This is kind of like when the Republican Congress repeatedly refused to provide medical care for the 9/11 emergency workers, even as they repeatedly authorized hundreds of billions of dollars to fight wars in Afghanistan and Iraq and Elsewhere ostensibly because of the 9/11 attacks. I don't want to be all shrill but these guys are dicks. [Think Progress]

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BREAKING ACHTUNG EVERYBODY CRY AND PANIC AND HAVE ROLLICKING SEXUAL INTERCOURSE, BECAUSE ROBERT MUELLER DID THE THING.

We don't know what the thing means yet, but we know that he gave the thing to Attorney General Bill Barr, who is presumably looking at the thing right now. Donald Trump is at Mar-a-Lago, so he does not have the thing, because NO THING FOR ILLEGITIMATE PRESIDENTS. Studies show that according to sources close to the investigation who may or may not be close to the investigation, we might have some real information on what is inside the thing sometime this weekend.

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Whatcha doin' down there at Mar-a-Lago, Mister Normal President Of America?

OK ... huh?

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