Ah, To Be Young, Gifted, and Conservative
We've been staring at this soul-scraping story on Fox about the Young America's [sic] National Conservative Student Conference all day and trying to psych ourselves up to deal with it. We supposed the easiest way is just to type up the horrifying high points as quickly as we can and then move on with the rest of our lives. It's like yanking a band-aid off of your arm with one quick pull.
* Young conservatives used to be mindless drones who would vote for anybody the GOP told them to, but no longer!
* Young conservatives won't be fooled by "gimmicky politics."
* Young conservatives are unimpressed with actual political candidates who have to appeal to at least half of the electorate, because they deviate from principles.
* Young conservatives love the "luminaries and provocateurs in the college lecture circuit," like Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin, David Horowitz, and Dinesh D'Souza. They also love mercurial noncandidates like Newt Gingrich and Fred Thompson.
* Young conservatives are obsessed with fighting running ideological battles with young liberals. It's like the Communists and the Nazis in Weimar Germany, but with less stabbing and more Facebook!
* Young conservatives really hate illegal immigrants.
* Young conservatives have been galvanized by the "9/11 Never Forget" project.
* There really is such a thing as the "9/11 Never Forget" project.
* Young conservatives have made this woman a youth icon: