Al Gore, Jimmy Carter To Strangle Clinton Candidancy In 35-Year-Old Crib
According to some sources, nobody would be happier to throw Hillary Clinton under the vaunted Democratic bus than Jimmy Carter and Al Gore. As historical losers themselves -- a single-term President and failed Presidential aspirant -- they know a thing or two about what it takes to lose an election. That's what gives them so much "street cred" with the Democratic Party, which is why Hillary Clinton will have to listen to them. But where's John Kerry? Isn't he a lovable loser, too?
In a word, no. John Kerry is that most unique Democrat: one who lost an election so badly and so stupidly that instead of being elevated to the revered pantheon of Democratic presidential losers, he has been banished into the ketchup catacombs with his insufferable wife.
Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton -- back on top in Pennsylvania, thanks to a night of hard drinking and a few infelicitous remarks from Barack Obama -- must do the responsible thing and bow out of the race before she does any more damage to the party by winning.