Al Gore Making Childish Threats About Global Warming, Which Doesn't Help

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Let's see, climate change is a horrific ongoing disaster and it's caused by human-made machinery farting out fossil fuel smoke andanusburger cows farting out actual cow farts, and your grandchildren will be Diabetic Sea Monkeys living deep beneath the glowing nuclear sea of the Great Gulf Lake of Mississippi-Canada, if they survive the Eugenics Wars of 2027, which they won't. What might make the hard-core Koch-funded global warming denial army suddenly start taking something seriously when not even the landslide election of a Democrat president with full control of the House and Senate could do anything about Climate Change, in this dumb country? OH WE KNOW, get Al Gore to release a bunch of juvenile YouTube clips. Because Al Gore certainly isn't polarizing at all, and we can only assume that Fox News will just turn over its programming for the next couple of days to whatever "Current TV" is putting through its web stream.


Oh, also: You liberals are supposed to "turn over your Facebook and Twitter accounts" to Al Gore's climate change organization, so they can make your Facebook and Twitter feeds into a parody of the worst, most shrill "social media" scold you've had to repeatedly block on Facebook and Twitter. (You know, your brother-in-law who did "neighborhood canvassing" for Greenpeace once, in 2006, and continues to lecture everyone he knows despite the fact that he now works as an oil rig maintenance contractor in Midland, Texas.)

Well, this should take care of those pesky skeptics!

And if that somehow didn't convert hostile Tea Party people into hemp grocery bags, they probably just need to watch this Al Gore-branded YouTube promotional clip showing a mannequin's handful of feces thrown at an electric fan, GEDDIT?

The way things are going in this country, we'll be lucky if seatbelts and fire departments survive the 2012 elections. Not a single sociopathic white 60-year-old on a personal mobility scooter is going to be "convinced of climate reality" by anything, and that includes when all the sociopathic 60-year-old white people are swept out to sea by a hurricane (in Iowa) and eaten by crabs. [The Atlantic/Time]

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