Al Gore Priced Out, Forced to Move to Jersey
Al Gore is holding a huge concert this July in order to distract the world while his deadly "warming device" is finally completed and installed somewhere beneat the frozen seas at the North Pole. Cities hosting concerts include Johannesburg, London, Rio de Janeiro, Shanghai, Sydney and Tokyo.
Oh, there's going to be one here in America, too. You see, they were going to have it on the Mall, right here in DC. Except the Mall was booked that day. Still, arrangements were being made to have it, like, nearby. But Congressional Republicans, fearing the poisonous "greenhouse gasses" Gore is planning to unleash upon unsuspecting crowds at each venue, and realizing the inherent danger of allowing the reunited Police anywhere near the Capitol, quickly moved to stop Gore in his tracks.
So they've having it in Jersey. Ha ha, enjoy the train to East Rutherford, Smashing Pumpkins! Hope your precious "world" is "saved"!
Gore hopes stars can save the planet [Reuters via CNN]