Alas, Chelsea Clinton Learns To Lie

This Chelsea Clinton, she's going places. In the 2044 election she will go straight to the third-place finish in the Democratic primary, with Malia Obama in first and Hillary Clinton in second. This is because she has learned to tell hilarious lies, much like her working-class mother and pink father. She has been going on about how a couple of guys in New Hampshire yelled out at her, "Iron my shirt!" and that they were dead serious, and sexist, and you should vote for Hillary Clinton. But the two dudes (who are probably still awful) were New England radio hosts doing it as a complete prank. They love women after all! Why does Chelsea continue to lie about their INTENTIONS?

From some college kid's newspaper, here is how Chelsea has been going around recently, struttin' her stuff:

Before joining the campaign trail with her mother in January, Chelsea Clinton said she had no idea how much sexism still existed in the nation.

"Two guys in New Hampshire stood up and shouted 'Iron my shirt,'" Chelsea Clinton said. "They were serious. I was shocked that they were serious. But I was even more shocked to see that no one seemed the think that it was a news story. It wasn't something you saw a news clip of."

But they were not serious at all, and this was made apparent almost immediately after the incident:

But a few intrepid bloggers, cross-referencing video footage and MySpace pages, came up with a new explanation: Boston-based shock radio. Apparently, Nick Gemelli and Adolfo Gonzalez Jr., who were escorted from the Clinton event in Salem, have jobs on WBCN-FM�s "Toucher and Rich Show," which airs from 3 to 7 p.m. (Gemelli, a call-screener, is known on the air as "Intern Nick.")

So Hillary has been caught lying about a man named "Toucher." It is a sexist name at the very least.

Chelsea for District Attorney of Neptune Colony, 2075!

Woke Up, It Was Chelsea Lying [Reason]


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