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Alaskan Elections Were Probably Very Corrupt & Fraudulent, It Being Alaska And All

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Fancy thismystery from Alaska: as things stood before the election, recently convicted-on-seven-counts felon Ted Stevens was appropriately losing by 13 percentage points in The Polls; similarly corrupt (but so far unconvicted!) at-large Rep. Don Young was losing by 6.5; John McCain was ahead by 14 in the state; early voting in the state was shattering records; and hometown gal Sarah Palin was still all the national rage. Sounds about right, HEHNGNN? And yet Alaska now finds itself on the brink of re-electing Stevens; Young easily kept his seat; McCain won by 25 percentage points; and voter turnout somehow declined 11% since 2004, when there was no mention of Alaska in the news! HMM WEIRD HUH? Well, fear not, because the most important mammal since Abraham Lincoln, NATE "DOGG" SILVER, is going to nab the bastards with his KILLA TREND LINE REGRESSIONS and cold motherfuckin' MATH LASER GLOCKS. Then he'll launch those slimy pervs into space with a pop-gun because he can do that. [FiveThirtyEight, Andrew Sullivan]

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I wasn't ready for Koko the gorilla to die. She was just 46, so still young well past the upper age limit for a gorilla, but I'll miss her. She loved cats, told mildly amusing jokes, and put up with people, so she was a lot like your weird aunt.

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Donald Trump held one of his televised cabinet meetings today in which he railed about the terrible Democrats who forced the current border crisis (at a time when illegal border crossings are actually lower than usual). In what's sure to be his favorite phrase on Twitter for the next few days, Trump blamed "extremist open-border Democrats" for all the problems he brought on himself with his family separation policy, and explained that Democrats were simultaneously hurting illegal immigrants AND the rest of America by forcing Normal America to accept Central Americans who fled to the US. It made loads of sense! And then things got ... less so.

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