Alaskan GOP Grapple Over GILF, Mean Old Man
What with the neverending tales of criminality, graft, and senility, prominent Republicans are beginning to put some distance between Ted Stevens and themselves. No, wait, just kidding! Obviously. He's just the subject of an FBI probe and eleventy billion other investigations, it's not like he paid some guy to blow him or anything. All of his corrupt old buddies are throwing cash at him and still letting him help run the country.
Senators who are not embarrassed to give their hard-earned campaign cash to help out the sinister octogenarian include:
*Kay Bailey Hutchinson
*Kit Bond ("Sen. Bond has supported his longtime friend and colleague Senator Stevens for many years.")
*Trent Lott (HA HA TED YOU NEED MONEY FROM TRENT LOTT)
Since Alaska's most successful Democratic politician ever is Mike Gravel -- Mike Gravel! -- the only way Seward's Icebox can be rid of the wrinkly money-grubbing Internet-not-understanding menace is if someone beats him in the Republican primary. Which is why we're very excited that an unsourced, passive voice sentence in an Associated Press story claims that the very fetching Governor Sarah Palin might try to do just that! In her race for governor, she basically did the beat-the-despised-corrupt-GOP-incumbent-who's-been-around-forever-in-the-primary thing just last November, so she's eminently qualified for the task. We here at Wonkette are waiting to report breathlessly on every aspect of her transformation from GILF to SILF.