Alaskan State Sen. Pete Kelly Has Had It With These Irresponsible People Using Birth Control
Alaska state Sen. Pete Kelly is a Fairbanks Republican who knows what's good for babies and other living things, and what he knows is that fetal alcohol syndrome (FAS) is a very bad thing. We actually agree with him on that, although we aren't 100% sure he's found the ideal way of addressing this very real problem, because instead of just relying on wimpy approaches that your liberals support, like "education" and "outreach" and "funding women's health clinics," he advocates a somewhatmore robust approach to the problem, like maybe the state paying to make pregnancy tests available in restaurants and bars, or perhaps really getting tough by committing women who drink while pregnant, though that one's just an idea that he's floating, you know? On the other hand, he wouldn't be in favor of the state providing contraceptives in bars, because people who use birth control are just so darned irresponsible. Yes, that is what he said, yes really.
So the nice thing is that Kelly actually does recognize that spending money on public health is a good thing -- to fight FAS, which is especially bad in Alaska, he told the Anchorage Daily News that he's willing to "spend "a lot of money" on media campaigns, and even to provide pregnancy tests in bars and restaurants, reasoning that women will avoid drinking if they can go take a free pee test before they order those Long Island Iced Teas. Fine as far as it goes, though maybe a pilot program might be a good idea first, before every cocktail lounge starts distributing E.P.T. branded swizzle sticks. Good on him for at least recognizing that government has a role to play in public health -- we really want to encourage that attitude in Republicans, so there's your positive feedback, Sen. Kelly.
And then the interviewer asked Kelly if maybe accepting federal funds for Medicaid expansion might not be a good idea, because access to birth control = less fetal alcohol syndrome, you know? Or hey, at least provide birth control in bars? That sounded pretty crazy to Kelly, because it's just common sense that a lady will check to see if she has a Precious Angel before drinking, but she probably shouldn't be relied upon to prevent pregnancy in the first place, because government has no business preventing pregnancies, just making sure that little babbies don't get alcohol dumed on them.
No, because the thinking is a little opposite. This assumes that if you know, you'll act responsibly. Birth control is for people who don't necessarily want to act responsibly. That's—I'm not going to tell them what to do, or help them do it, that's their business. But if we have a pregnancy test, because someone just doesn't know. That's probably a way we can help them.
The reporter pointed out that maybe preventing a pregnancy in the first place was fairly responsible, because babbies are expensive, and stuff, but Kelly didn't see the point:
"Maybe, maybe not. That's a level of social engineering that we don't want to get into. All we want to do is make sure that people are informed and they'll make the right decision."
Still, he has some other exciting ideas that he's just spitballing, because they would definitely not involve any social engineering: How about maybe locking women up if they drink while pregnant, for their babbies' sake?
“Down the road,” Kelly said, “we haven’t had this discussion yet, as a community or as a legislature, we haven’t had the discussion about involuntary commitment. That may be part of it in the future, that’s not what we’re doing right now.”
“But ultimately,” he said, “you have to ask yourself if someone is damning their child to a lifetime of mental problems and physical problems as well and it’s gonna end up costing the costing the state, isn’t that time that we have to say, okay, isn’t there some level of involuntary commitment that should happen?”
“Is that someone you personally would support?” the interviewer asked.
“I dunno,” Kelly said, adding, “We do involuntary commitment for people who are chronic inebriates now.”
Look, if there's a chance to actually control what a lady does while she's a baby-vessel, then that's definitely a good thing. But providing contraceptives to sluts? That's social engineering, and none of the government's business.
Follow Doktor Zoom on Twitter. He does not think this word "responsible" means what Sen. Kelly thinks it means.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.