Alex Jones is in danger of losing his kids. He's currently engaged in a custody battle with his ex-wife, who says he is an unfit parent and is using his videos as evidence in her case to prove he is a volatile and unstable person.

Via Austin-American Statesman:

“He’s not a stable person,” she said of the man with whom her 14-year-old son and 9- and 12-year-old daughters have lived since her 2015 divorce. “He says he wants to break Alec Baldwin’s neck. He wants J-Lo to get raped.

“I’m concerned that he is engaged in felonious behavior, threatening a member of Congress,” she said, referring to his recent comments about California Democrat Adam Schiff. “He broadcasts from home. The children are there, watching him broadcast.”

Having watched Alex Jones a time or two myself, it's hard to blame her. Judging him by his broadcasts, I would probably not allow him to babysit my sea monkeys.

But Jones's attorney, Randall Wilhite, is claiming that using those broadcasts to judge him is like judging Jack Nicholson's ability to be a good parent by his performance as the Joker in "Batman" -- because Alex Jones is just playing a character. It is PERFORMANCE ART! None of it is real! It's just art and he's an actor and apparently no one is deep enough to get it.

Especially his ex-wife, whose lawyers pointed out incidents in which he had actually claimed to be raising at least one of his kids to emulate his totally fictional on-air persona.

The first was a clip from a July 2015 broadcast in which Jones had his son, then 12, on to play the latest of some 15 or 20 videos he had made with the help of members of the Infowars team who, Jones said, had “taken him under their wing” during summer days spent at the South Austin studio between stints at tennis and Christian camps.

“He is undoubtedly cut out for this, and I intend for him to eclipse what I’ve done. He’s a way greater person than I was at 12,” said Jones, turning to his son. “I love you so much, and I didn’t mean to get you up here, sweetheart, and tell people how much I love you, but you’re so handsome, and you’re a good little knight who’s going to grow up, I know, to be a great fighter against the enemy.”

With this in mind, things are all starting to come together. Remember when Jones was all enraged about John Podesta being invited to one of performance artist Marina Abramovic's Spirit Cooking dinners? And he was all like 'Oh yeah, he for sure is into Satanism and stuff!'? PROFESSIONAL JEALOUSY. Yeah, he was sad that Marina Abramovic got all the performance art street cred, while he languishes in artistic obscurity, with no one recognizing his genius. Sure, people know who he is -- but they don't know him as a brilliant artist. And whenever anyone thinks of performance artists they think of Marina Abramovic and Laurie Anderson and that one song from Rent. No one thinks of Alex Jones.

Also, it explains why he sounds the way he does. I've always wondered how on earth someone goes around talking like that all the time without losing their voice or busting a vein in their head, but maybe he's been using a vocoder the whole time.

(And yes, my entire knowledge and understanding of performance art is pretty much limited to multiple televisions and vocoders, but I was born in the '80s. It's not like my parents were taking me to 8BC after Mommy and Me Swim Class, ok?)

This whole thing, of course, is just one of the ways in which Donald Trump's desire to legitimize batshit crazy conspiracy theorists is kind of backfiring these days. He described Jones as having an "amazing" reputation, and now even Jones himself is like "No, I am totally fake. I'm a performance artist! Let me see my kids, please!"

Mike Cernovich, who Trump Jr. thinks should win the Pulitzer, announced on Jones's Infowars livestream last week that if Trump gets rid of Steve Bannon, he will drop "the motherlode" and reveal all of the Trump administrations nasty secrets, including "the sugar babies, the drugs, the pill popping, the orgies." What are they gonna do now? "Oh, they were definitely telling the truth before, but now they are lying? And all the things Alex Jones said were also true, even though he's now saying he's a fake!"


[Austin-American Statesman]

Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

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The Church of Scientology had some thoughts about Our Robyn's piece, Who Wants To Watch A Creepy White Guy Rap About Scientology? We had some thoughts about their thoughts.

Thanks for writing in, Scientology! As you doubtless realized when you didn't demand we take down our story, but requested it instead, our opinions of your weird cult and that poor young man's rap skills are protected by the First Amendment. (I learned about libel law in college and grad school but also on the job: I was in newspapers so long that I was actually colleagues with Tony Ortega -- about whom you sound quite "venomous" and "biased" -- at the very same newspaper chain you can't believe he defended! Next up, please show your due diligence by talking trash about a woman you didn't know was my mom.)

Also, a lot of your former members say on the record that you kidnap people, and stalk them, and harass them, and sometimes beat them up good, and I request that if so, fucking stop it.

The rest of you click the headline, if you want your OPEN THREAD.

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Monday's Trump-Putin press conference landed on the entire free world like a hot treason-shaped turd, didn't it? Congressional Republicans have been saying mean things about it on Twitter, and even Fox News has been less than 100% supportive! The White House communications department obviously knew it had a crisis on its hands, what with how it's generally considered inappropriate for the leader of the free world to get on all fours in front of the Russian president and wag his tail and slobber with anticipation while he awaits his next marching orders. WOMP WOMP, etc.

So the comms department typed up a thing for the president to read aloud today at the beginning of his meeting with members of Congress, about how he was VERY SORRY he said one word incorrectly during the Putin presser. That's right, only one word of that whole fucking shitshow was wrong. All the rest of his traitor words were exactly what he meant to say.

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