Alex Jones So Excited Tucker Shot Part Of His Little Weenus-Tanning Documentary On His Property

We're sure there's some kind of update on Alex Jones's bankruptcies and the lawsuits against him — here's one! — but that's not what this post is for. This is a post to remind y'all that Tucker Carlson is just Alex Jones with the "respectability" of a Fox News contract.

Who was queening out about the water turning the frogs gay long before Tucker had his nightly White Power Little Dick Syndrome Fox News TV talk show? That's right, it was Alex Jones. And who's queening out about the water turning the frogs gay right now? That's right, it's Alex Jones. But he's queening out about it in context of his excitement that Tucker Carlson filmed part of his new documentary, "Live Laugh Love Chop Wood Milk Cow Hey Oily Muscle Men Stick Your Peenerballs In This Thing And See If They Get Bigger XXX," on Jones's Texas property.


Because when it's time to film "Live Laugh Love Chop Wood Milk Cow Hey Oily Muscle Men Stick Your Peenerballs In This Thing And See If They Get Bigger XXX," you go to Alex Jones's rural Texas property.

This here is a video of Alex Jones watching the promo video and commenting to himself about how great it is, just right up his fuckin' alley, on his wavelength, etc. Because when you make a movie that appeals to Alex Jones's sense of masculinity, you're doin' something.

ALEX JONES (HOST): These are clips from a new Tucker Carlson documentary, that part of it got shot on a little piece of land that I have here in Austin, Texas. I didn't go out to the shoot, but let me tell you, I sent the crew out there because Tucker's producer wanted to use a central Texas piece of property to shoot at, and so they shot some of it, and they do kind of the manly men-type deals.

Tucker does the manly men-type deals.

JONES: But the issue here is that this isn't just the end of men, this is the end of the humans as we know it, and what we need to counter all of this is men standing up and men being men. So here's a few clips from Tucker's new documentary.



Yeah, that's my .50-cal. getting shot out there.

This is – and he's putting red light on his testicles, which will boost his testosterone. This will trigger the libtards like nothing you've ever seen.

Like nothing you have ever seen. We are all so triggered by the Tucker Carlson movie where they put special lights on their balls because they're scared they don't have enough testosterone.

JONES: Ice baths. Joe Rogan does that every day. He looks great, man, he looks incredible.

And now you know Alex Jones's type. It is "Joe Rogan In An Ice Bath.'

JONES: Raw eggs.

Raw eggs.


JONES: OK, so there you go. Definitely going to trigger the libtards worse than his January 6 documentary.

Oh yes. That is exactly the reaction we've all been having.

JONES: And, I mean, I'm glad they shot part of it here in central Texas with us, but just obviously a lot of entertainment value to this. Again, designed to absolutely trigger the leftists.

Intelligently designed, probably.

JONES: But this is ... I want them to stop putting chemicals in the water that makes the frickin' frogs gay! [...] Western men – Black, white, Hispanic, Asian, old, young – they're losing their sperm count. The genital sizes are shrinking!

As we said, when you're on Alex Jones's wavelength about masculinity, you are doin' something.

We are not sure what you're doin', but you're doin' something.

Maybe a psychologist could figure it out.

Also the clip above ends with some scientists dissecting frogs, probably to see how gay they are.

[Media Matters]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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