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All My Exes Live In Texas

News
  • Warren Buffett is truly our modern JP Morgan! Today he writes that people should sack up and start investing again, and people who have all their money in cash are big dummies. [New York Times]
  • Oh awesome, Texas is not really prepared, at all, for election day. No great contingency plans in case voting machines break down, no procedures for doing an audit. [Austin American Stateman]
  • Obese people do not even enjoy eating trashy milkshakes like this one. [WebMD]
  • In the UK, the Tory leader blamed the Labor party for messing up the economy. In the US, everyone blames famous Tory leader George W. Bush. [Guardian]
  • John McCain has to defend a bunch of battleground states this weekend: Florida, North Carolina, and Virginia. [AP]
  • At his corruption trial, Uncle Ted Stevens took the stand and waxed nostalgic about his many years lying and scheming on behalf of Alaskans. [New York Times]
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Roger Stone, you got some 'splainin' to do, Mister! Remember all those times Stone swore on his Nixon tattoo that he never had any contact with Russians, wasn't a campaign surrogate, and wasn't tipped off to stolen DNC emails in advance? Like that time he told the Washington Post:

"I've never been to Russia. I didn't talk to anybody who was identifiably Russian during the two-year run-up to this campaign," he said. "I very definitely can't think of anybody who might have been a Russian without my knowledge. It's a canard."

Stone told the House Intelligence Committee the same thing last September, but, LOL FUNNY STORY! Seems that Stone just plum forgot about that time in May, 2016 when Trump communications advisor Michael Caputo asked him to meet with Henry Greenberg, "a man with a Make America Great Again hat and a viscous Russian accent." The Washington Post reports, Greenberg was offering sexxxxy Russian dirts on Hillary Clinton, which Stone and Caputo were only too happy to grab by the pussy. But they just couldn't get there!

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Congressman Beto O'Rourke, who hopes to replace Ted Cruz in the US Senate this fall, is one of several Texas and El Paso leaders participating in a march to the just-opened tent city at the US/Mexico border in Tornillo, Texas, where children have already been imprisoned "placed."

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