All Of U.S. America Was A Total Sh*t Show, How Was Your Weekend?

So. It is work o'clock, Monday morning, and you're eco-commuting to your job and sipping your vegan free trade zen tea, made with real zen, and scrolling through your iDevice to find out hmm, did anything of import happen this weekend? Because maybe you were not on the interwebs; instead, you were taking the kids to soccer practice, or perhaps drinking alone with your cat, or downing some hair of the dog with your sunglasses on -- inside. Not that we're judging.

But nah, not much happened this weekend. Except for, Jesus Sunday brunching Christ, EVERYTHING!

Yes, we will do all the wonksplaining with all the jokes-making for you, it is what we do, we are servicey like that. But here's your tl;dnr version of the weekend.

  • First, here is a thing that Donald Trump said, with his mouth, about John McCain:

    "He's not a war hero," Trump said in a question-and-answer session with pollster Frank Luntz. Then he altered his comment: "He's a war hero because he was captured. I like people that weren't captured, okay?"

    We will have ALL the words to say about this for you, but just a quick note for now. Remember when Trump said all the Messicans are rapey murderers, and the entire field of Republican presidential candidates was all "ho hum, nothing to say" for nearly a month? Yeah, well, there was no tentative waiting to decide what position to take this time:

    The entire Republican Party, in fact, was quick to condemn Trump and insist that the GOP will not tolerate anyone disrespecting our veterans, as long as they are Republicans -- because Democratic veterans like John Kerry and Max Cleland and Tammy Duckworth are fair game, Democratic veterans don't count, DUH.

  • Netroots Nation, have you heard of it? It is this annual conference where all the professional progressives, plus some people who like to fight in comments on the internet for fun, get together to have panels and listen to speeches about how to be even more better at being progressives, and electing progressives, and hooking up with progressives. (OK, there are no panels on that last part; that just sort of happens on its own. Or so we have heard.) This year's Netroots Nation was in Phoenix, and hoo boy howdy holy Moses, shit went DOWN. During the presidential candidate forum, moderated by journalist and immigration activist Jose Antonio Vargas, activists from Black Lives Matter started shouting and chanting while former Gov. Martin O'Malley was trying to convince people that he should be the runner-up to Hillary Clinton:

    "What side are you on my people?" they sang in unison as they approached.

    Tia Oso of the Black Alliance for Just Immigration, who represented the demonstrators, climbed onto the stage, secured a microphone, and delivered a speech while O'Malley looked on.

    "We are going to hold this space. We are going to acknowledge the names of black women who have died in police custody. And Governor O'Malley, we do have questions for you ... As the leader of this nation, will you advance a racial justice agenda that will dismantle -- not reform, not make progress -- but will begin to dismantle structural racism in the United States?"

    Eventually, O'Malley was allowed to try to respond to questions, but he crushed his own dick in a vice when he responded by saying, "Black lives matter. White lives matter. All lives matter."

    That, as the former mayor of Baltimore ought to know, is the wrong answer, and the audience let him hear just how the wrong answer it was, for which he later apologized.

    Sen. Bernie Sanders then tried to give a speech about how he will save all of America, with socialism, and yes, that includes black America especially also, but the audience didn't want to hear Sanders talk about economics, so he got the booing and the shouting and the interruptions too, and he didn't much care for that:

    "Black lives, of course, matter. I spent 50 years of my life fighting for civil rights and for dignity," he said. "But if you don't want me to be here, that's OK. I don't want to outscream people."

    Sanders and his most vocal supporters mistakenly suggested that his record of fighting for social justice and equality -- for, like, half a century -- should count for at least two brownie points, especially because Sanders has talked quite specifically about some of the issues raised by Black Lives Matter, as Matt Bruenig describes for you here, it is good, you should read it. But nuh uh, doesn't count, not good enough, MORE WORDS, MORE OUTRAGE, and then, of course, a hashtag, #BernieSoBlack, so you know this is SERIOUS.

    On Sunday, Bernie Sanders tweeted a thing, so the protestors won, maybe?

    Have we decided whether Bernie Sanders is legitimately An Ally or part of the problem, ACTUALLY, because he always wants to talk about economic injustice and doesn't address racial injustice the right way? Dunno, we'll look into it and get back to you. In the mean time, if you still like Bernie Sanders, you can buy this T-shirt of him, for your body.

  • Speaking of racism and injustice, remember when we told you the KKK was planning to have a little pity party at the South Carolina State Capitol to protest removal of the Confederate flag? Yeah, that happened this weekend. The Klan was there, and also Neo-Nazis, and they were waving all their favorite flags and saying all their favorite racist slogans, which is weird since racism is over.
  • Also, because the whole country was a shit show this weekend, like we said, a dead guy turned up in Demi Moore's pool Sunday morning, WTF?

    Law enforcement sources tell us, a 21-year-old man apparently drowned in the swimming pool and his body was discovered early Sunday morning at the bottom of the pool.

    We're told there was a party at the house. Demi was not there ... she's currently out of town. A law enforcement sources tells us none of Demi's family was present.

  • And finally, we here at Yr Wonkette learned an important lesson from Facebook that Facebook does not appreciate Yr Wonkette using artistic artsy art pictures, of naked statues, if those naked statues happen to be fucking chickens. All of us Wonkettes what shared a very helpful public service announcement -- about how you shouldn't make out with your pet chickens because you'll get diseases and spread salmonella -- received a notice that we are not allowed to do that:Then we all had to double-triple pinky-swear to Facebook we will never be indecent on the internet again. FINE, we won't. After this:

So how was your weekend?


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