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All The Hookers Are Now Free, For Obama's Communist Amerika!

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  • Local street hobos are very pessimistic about the Inauguration. Hope! [DC Examiner]
  • Good news about your Maryland bars!: those in DC will stay open until 5 AM, and those in Annapolis will stay open until 3 AM. [WTOP]
  • Obama might not be in favor of giving DC a seat in the House, despite selfishly going out to DC restaurants with his wife. [Washington Post]
  • Parts of NW DC have been marked a "prostitution free zone", where presumably all whores can be rented (& no late fees!) free of charge. [DCist]
  • Obama stopped by to hang out with his friends at the Washington Post, a visit that was sarcastically and undermine-ingly covered by the hilariously sad New York Times. [Fishbowl DC]
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Barack Obama delivered his first major address of his post-presidency Tuesday at an event in Johannesburg, South Africa, honoring the 100th anniversary of Nelson Mandela's birth. It was -- as you'd expect for the occasion -- appropriately dignified and thoughtful. It was also every bit as inspiring as you might expect from the first black American president speaking in memory of the first black president of a nation that for most of its modern history was synonymous with apartheid. Let's take some time to bask in what an actual world leader sounds like, shall we?

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Guess what Vladimir Putin's getting for Christmas! He's been dropping hints, and you know the Big Orange Baboon can't say no to him for some unknown reason. Gonna be so cute when little Vladdy stumbles down the stairs in his PJs, brushes the sleep from his eyes, and finds MONTENEGRO all wrapped up with a big bow under the Christmas tree. Adorbz!

Oh, but we are to kid! Just a little levity as President Treasonweasel slams a sledgehammer into the international framework that kept us out of another world war for the past 70 years. So why are we suddenly talking about a tinyass country whose chief export appears to be consonants? (Sorry, Montenegro. But your Predsjednik Crne Gore is Milo Đukanović, and your capital city is Cetinje, which is just cheating at Scrabble.)

Well! Donald Trump just got out of a two-hour, closed-door meeting with Vladimir Putin, whose government tried to stage a coup in 2016 to assassinate Đukanović and stop Montenegro's accession to the European Union. Which might not be a coincidence!

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