You guys, there is some serious UN-AMERICAN activity happening, and we bet you don’t know about it! According to Allen West on Fox & Friends, there is a secret Muslim plot in America to… wait for it… become politically organized in order to push for policies that are more friendly towards Muslims.

Now is the appropriate time to FREAK THE FUCK OUT. Seriously, freak out, dammit. What’s wrong with you? Why aren’t you freaking out! Did you not click on that video? Did you not see the graphic of “Islamic Extremism on the Rise,” with totally not-racist pictures of men in turbans wielding rocket-launchers? This threat will ruin American civilization and likely cause the death of all kittens, because it is THAT BAD. If your hands aren’t shaking too much, let’s scaresplore this threat to life, liberty, and religious freedom the American way. 

Allen West took to America’s Number One Newsroom For Addle-Minded Xenophobes, Fox & Friends, to discuss this Very Important Threat. And he was given a hand by Steve Doocy in this totally fair & balanced intro, per Right Wing Watch:

Doocy: Our next guest says radical Islamists are busy building a voting bloc to sneak their political agenda into the American system, their goal to wage jihad from within. Retired Army Lt. Col. Allen West is a Fox News contributor joins us today from Boynton Beach, Florida.

First of all, building a voting bloc is not ‘sneaking’ into anything. If that was the case, then it would be fair to say that racist rednecks plotted to sneak their political agenda into the American system in 2010 by creating the Tea Party.

Also, we don’t think that Doocy had a full understanding of the word ‘jihad.’ But let’s get to the main attraction, Allen West:

West: Well you have the formulation of the US Council of Muslim Organizations and it’s very disconcerting because back in 1991 there was a document that was written and it was called the explanatory memorandum for the strategic goal of the group or the Brotherhood in North America, and during an FBI raid in 2007 in Northern Virginia this document was uncovered, translated into English and we’ve come to find out it’s the blueprint, the campaign strategy for the Muslim Brotherhood in the United States of America.

And West continues:

[West:]But now they are forming some type of political party, a voting bloc—

Doocy: In this country.

West: That’s right, to institutionalize policies that favor them.

Did you look at the website of the US Council of Muslim Organizations? The scariest part is that it is FULL OF MUSLIMS! Like, with their pictures and everything! Alert the FBI and round these people up! They are all sneaky terrorist jihadists! Just look at the language they use:

The new national council's first priority will be to build on Muslim citizenship rights by conducting a census of American Muslims to create a database that will be used to enhance civic and political participation in upcoming elections. Other priorities were also considered by the new Council to empower the American Muslim community, amplify its voice, and unify its efforts.

Hot damn, West was right! They ARE trying to organize. And we all know the best way to deal with that, right? Encourage peaceful civic participation through the democratic process for all Americans Yell ‘jihad’ and ‘Muslim Brotherhood’ as many times as possible, because there is no way that Muslims could organize in America without it being a nefarious plot.

If you think this sounds like the Tea Party, the Republican Party, the Democratic Party, the Green Party, the Libertarian Party, AIPAC, the NAACP, Focus on the Family, or La Raza, then you are WRONG! This is totally different because we are talking about Muslims organizing, and that is FUCKING SCARY! Why?

Well, we know that all mooslims are terrorists who want to force all children in school to pray. Oh wait… that’s not it. They are terrorists because they want to impose their religious beliefs (like no abortion) on others. Dammit, not that either. Fuck it, we’ll just pull a Rudy Giuliani: Muslims are scary because noun, verb, 9/11, never forget.

We are not experts on much of anything here. But it seems as though many different groups of people band together to try to exert their influence on federal, state, and local politics. In fact, most people are encouraged to become involved in politics in this way, because voting and having your voice heard through representative organizations seems to date back to the founding of the country.

Unless you are Muslim, and then you should just shut the fuck up, deal with racial profiling (haha, that goes for all the browns, Muslim or not), and be glad we don’t deport your ass to Gitmo. Because America was founded by and for Christians and nothing in the Constitution gives you any right to religious freedom, freedom of assembly or to petition of government, so why don’t you just stop jihading America with your votes!

[Right Wing Watch / USCMO]

Follow DDM on Twitter (@Wonksplainer), unless you hate America.


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