America Finally Safe From Immigrant Children And Their Immigrant Ways

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  • Yesterday, Senate Republicans -- the most sexually secure people in the entire world -- filibustered a motion to debate the possibility of maybe repealing Don't Ask, Don't Tell. You were probably too busy having a ham biscuits parade in honor of Lindsey Graham, but did you hear about that "other" thing Senate Republicans stalled, like true defenders of the Constitution? The (un-American) Dream Act would allow "children of undocumented immigrants to get on a path to citizenship," and that is just nauseating and makes us want to vomit in our mouths because it is such a bad idea. And now, thanks to the diligence of Senate Republicans, America is finally safe from the gays and the undocumented babies/future 9/11 hijackers. [WaPo]


  • Some Iowa farmers blamed for the salmonella outbreak apologized during a House committee hearing on eggs. [Fox News]

  • Mortgage fraud is a very severe problem in America right now. But what "is" mortgage fraud? It is something that happens in Florida a lot. [McClatchy]

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