America the Beautiful, as the Sandy Hook survivors sang, with your cities swept away and never to be rebuilt, crumbling bridges, space shuttles disintegrating, 787s that can't fucking fly without catching on fire (lithium ion batteries did not work for Dell laptops, they certainly aren't going to work foryou Boeing), your electric power as reliable as it is in Mogadishu or Baghdad. Ah, The Super Bowl, our ultimate aggro festival - the best representation of all USA USA USA hyper-patriotic, belligerent, ultra-nationalist super duper American exceptionalism, and we couldn't keep the lights on.

According to espn,

"Officials from Entergy, the utility company supplying power to the Superdome, said the outage occurred when sensing equipment detected an "abnormality" in the system. A statement from Entergy and the Superdome said that a piece of equipment monitoring electrical load sensed the abnormality and opened a breaker, partially cutting power."

An "abnormality"? Like, needing lights? The power went out for 34 minutes at the beginning of the second half of the biggest of America's games because of an abnormality?

Oh, aaaand here's what the guy at the helm of the other worst thing to ever happen in the Super Dome had to say:

HAR HAR, heck-of-a joke, Brownie. One would think that guy would keep his tweets to himself when anyone says "Super Dome," but shame is for suckers.

America. We can still take pride in one area where America remains amazingly, incredibly exceptional - shooting people! As of today, it is estimated there have been 1,504 shooting deaths in America since those hysterical-tear-inducing singing kids had 20 of their classmates gunned down by a lunatic with an assault rifle.

AND we can bring Paul Harvey back from the dead to praise our farmers, but we cannot keep the lights on at The Super Bowl. But at least Beyonce was not lip-sync-ing her halftime performance.



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