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  • Remember how Hillary Clinton was finally vanquished and destroyed forever because of the latest whatevergate? Yeah, about that. CNN has a new poll with some bad news -- for Republicans:

    Hillary Clinton continues to be a dominant force heading into the 2016 presidential election, according to a new CNN/ORC poll. The former secretary of state maintains a broad lead over the field of potential Democratic challengers she could face in a nomination contest and sizable advantages over the leading contenders from the Republican side in general election match-ups.

    Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush tops the possible field for the Republican Party's nomination race, followed by Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker, Kentucky Sen. Rand Paul, former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee and former neurosurgeon Ben Carson all in a tight cluster.

    But none of the top candidates in this field gets within 10 points of Hillary Clinton in a series of hypothetical general election matchups.

    But wasn't the big scandal about Clinton's email practices while serving as secretary of state supposed to be The Big Thing that finally made Americans realize how much they do not want her to be president? Yeah, about that also:

    Though Clinton's favorability rating has taken a hit recently, her prospects in 2016 appear largely unchanged compared to polls conducted before news broke about her use of a personal email address and home-based server while serving as secretary of state.

  • In case you hadn't heard, California is having a pretty severe drought. So you know what it definitely needs right now? Water roller coasters!

    Southern California’s first water coaster will debut this summer at Raging Waters water park in San Dimas - and it’s about time.

    The 1,000-foot-long Aqua Rocket hydromagnetic water coaster will accelerate up three “rocket incline zones” that propel raft riders over whoop-de-do hills and down drops at 30 mph.

    A water coaster is a water park slide that mimics the ups and downs of a traditional roller coaster with the help of magnetic propulsion. [...]

    In the United States, there are still only about two dozen water coasters at water parks big and small in places like Massachusetts, Texas, Ohio, Iowa, Wisconsin, Tennessee, Kansas and New York.

    The thrill slide concept remains a rarity west of the Rockies, though.

    The closest water coasters to Southern California are still a day's drive away in Colorado (Water World), Arizona (Wet 'n Wild) and Northern California (Golfland SunSplash). The newest of those, the $4.5-million Mile High Flyer by ProSlide, opened at Denver's Water World in 2012.

    Southern California has been long overdue for a water coaster.

    Hmm, hate to disagree with the L.A. Times reporter, but ACTUALLY, California is long overdue for some rain and some thoughtful water conservation. Building new water parks really shouldn't be at the top of the list of priorities.

  • Maybe just a list of fraternities that are not under investigation?

    Cases of racism, hazing, nude photos and vandalism rocked U.S. college fraternities this week, with one of the country's biggest groups pledging on Wednesday to root out discrimination and four colleges shuttering other frats over bad behavior. [...]

    This week the dark side of frats - known as the Greek system - was again on display with four universities suspending or terminating chapters over hazing and vandalism.

    On Wednesday the University of Wisconsin-Madison terminated a Chi Phi chapter over hazing that included food deprivation, stints of hooded isolation and other acts that resulted in one student suffering a concussion; as well as excessive drinking.

    Also on Wednesday the University of Houston suspended the Sigma Chi fraternity and five of its members over a hazing incident and asked police and prosecutors to look into possible criminal charges.

    The Sigma Alpha Mu fraternity shut down its University of Michigan chapter on Wednesday after local leaders and members refused to reveal who broke windows, ceiling tiles and furniture, causing an estimated $100,000 in damage at a ski resort hotel in January.

    A day earlier, Penn State University suspended Kappa Delta Rho for one year for posting inappropriate photographs on a private Facebook page, including sleeping or passed-out nude women.

  • This happened. We'd ask you to try to caption it, but you guys suck at that:
  • Science mystery solved, and it's basically just a horse, man:

    A mysterious animal which roamed the Earth 10,000 years ago with the body of a rodent, legs of a camel and the nose of an elephant is related to modern horses, scientists have discovered.

    The bones of the South American native ungulate Macrauchenia patachonica baffled Charles Darwin when he dug them up in Uruguay 180 years ago.

    He said the creature ‘the strangest animal ever discovered.’

    Now scientists using protein sequencing have discovered that the mammal is closely related to horses.

  • Looking for the latest bewb tube shenanigans and snarky recaps of your favorite teevee shows? Go show some love to our gone-but-not-forgotten kid sister Happy Nice Time People. And be sure to follow Happy Nice Time People on Twitter.
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