Americans Want Fictional Democratic President
A shocking new poll shows that America wants a Democrat president -- just not Hillary, Obama or Edwards. The reasons are about what you'd expect from the American Voter: Hillary's a woman of determination, Barry Hussein is black, and John Edwards is a gay lawyer.
"I just think he's a slick character," some old retired guy said about Edwards. The old retired guy in question said he wants a Democrat president more than anything -- unless Haircut 400 is the nominee, in which case he'll gladly vote for any Republican.
Hang in there, everybody! Just seventeen more months to go!