Ammon Bundy Drops Out Of Idaho GOP Primary To Run For Governor As Independent, Weirdo
After registering as a member of the Republican Party in Idaho in November 2021 so he could run in the party's gubernatorial primary, armed standoff hobbyist and amateur Virus and Holocaust expert Ammon Bundy announced Thursday that he would be dropping out of the GOP primary and running instead as an independent.
In a jeremiad posted to his campaign website, Bundy said it had been a difficult decision, because Idaho GOP politics good, Idaho GOP leaders slime:
Because of the corrupt and wicked state of the Idaho Republican Party establishment I have considered several times of un-affiliating myself with the party and running as an Independent candidate. However, I find myself in a conundrum. The Republican Party platform is the platform I stand behind but the Republican establishment in Idaho is full of filth and corruption and they refuse to put forth the party platform.
It's so hard for a pure soul with bizarre interpretations of the Constitution to find a place in modern politics, especially with all the sinning out there.
The statement launched into a litany of actual and alleged crimes by Idaho Republicans which we will copy verbatim, with the understanding that any libelous statements are Mr. Bundy's.
In the last few years the Idaho Republican Party members have witnessed the arrest of their Party Chairman Jonathan Parker for wearing a wig and masturbating in public, Senator Mike Crapo arrested for DUI, up and coming party star Representative Greg Cheney arrested for physically abusing his wife and threatening to kill himself with a knife in front of his young children, former Governor Butch Otter arrested for driving drunk, Senator Fred Martin investigated for going into high school girl's bathrooms - twice, Ada County Sheriff Steve Bartlett resigned for allegedly trading promotion to his deputies for sexual favors and Senator Larry Craig arrested for soliciting gay sex in an airport bathroom. Just to mention a few, all Idaho Republican leaders.
Bundy went on to complain that Idaho's establishment Republicans have "put forth liberal, Democrat policies like increased welfare, meanwhile shoving the Republican Party platform of limited government, fiscal responsibility, and ending abortion in the garbage."
Bundy will continue his long-shot run for governor as an independent, which means he'll be able to keep campaigning and fundraising beyond the May 17 primary. While a
half-dozen assorted nuts are seeking the GOP gubernatorial nomination, Bundy's withdrawal means the primary is really down to a two-candidate fuck-tussle.
Incumbent Gov. Brad Little, the candidate of Respectable Conservative Mormon Bidnissmen, announced Wednesday he's seeking a second term. His top challenger remains Lt. Gov. and rabid rightwing loon bozo Janice McGeachin, who wants to be actual governor so that when she signs crazy executive orders, they won't be rescinded the moment Little returns to the state.
You bet we're looking forward to the primary debates, which haven't yet been scheduled.
Following Bundy's announcement,
McGeachin said in a statement that it's now "all the more clear that there is only one viable conservative candidate" running, although she stopped short of vowing to behead Little and claim her rightful place as The One. She said she remains
entirely focused on defeating Brad Little and restoring the principles of State Sovereignty, Individual Liberty, and Traditional Conservative Values in Idaho. I strongly support the Idaho Republican Platform, which so many politicians routinely ignore, and I look forward to conservatives from across the state uniting behind our campaign to Make Idaho Free Again.
We had not been aware that Idaho was in fact a police state, but it will be much better and freer once we have no masks, no vaccines, and definitely no experts.
While McGeachin is certainly popular with the more excitable eyes-bugged-out members of the far-Right Patriot community in Idaho, Little probably has the advantage; the Idaho Statesman reports that he's raised $1.4 million in donations so far, nearly triple McGeachin's war chest of $500,000 — with roughly 40 percent of that coming from McGeachin herself. On the other hand, we bet McGeachin is way more likely than Little to have an actual ammo can labeled "War Chest." Bundy has raised something like $300,000.
Bundy said in his announcement that he's "certain that by unifying Idahoans behind the actual Republican platform we can take back control of the Idaho government," so conservative values can be restored in the state. Should his long shot campaign actually win him the governorship, we look forward to learning which plot of federal land he'll seize for his victory party.
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Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.