Karma's a bitch, Betsy DeVos! You could have just stayed in Michigan, spending your pocket change to ruin public education in sweet obscurity. Now every front page in the country is denouncing you as the wicked witch who tried to murder the Special Olympics, and your ignoramus boss is trying to drop the House on you. But cheer up, sister, because when the dust settles, you'll probably still get to steal millions of dollars from poor and disabled kids and put it into private school vouchers. And you made campus safe again for rapists. So, all in all, WINNING!

On Tuesday, the Education secretary faced an asskicking in Congress as she tried to explain why cutting the $17.6 million allocation for the Special Olympics was admirable fiscal prudence, rather than a heartless "fuck you" and a massive PR screw up. It went GREAT!

Looks like Wisconsin Rep. Mark Pocan was unimpressed with DeVos's opening argument that a 10 percent reduction in overall education spending is actually doing our kids A FAVOR.

[I]t's easier to keep spending, to keep saying "yes," and to keep saddling tomorrow's generations with today's growing debt. But, as it's been said, the government will run out of "other people's money."

Over the past 40 years, federal taxpayer spending on education has increased about 180 percent, amounting to over $1.2 trillion cumulatively. And yet, we're still 24th in reading, 25th in science, and 40th in math when compared to the rest of the world. Doing the same thing—and more of it—won't bring about new results.

I propose a different approach: freedom.

This budget focuses on freedom for teachers. Freedom for parents. And freedom for all students.

A great education shouldn't be determined by where you live nor by who you know. And it shouldn't be determined by family income.

LUV 2 B lectured on spending by a billionaire whose own children never set foot in a public school in their lives. Particularly when the Trump tax cuts, which benefitted the secretary personally to the tune of $2.7 million, have decreased corporate tax collected by $92 billion year on year. And that 180 percent increase in education spending over 40 years? Well, we hate to inform the billionairess Amway heir, but actually inflation over that time was about 250 percent. We're spending less on our children's schooling than we were, and -- whoops! -- there are millions more children now than there were in 1980! It is almost like DeVos is telling an untruth, but that can't be right. It must just be FREEDOM MATH. Maybe Ms. DeVos can use that FREEDOM MATH to explain how offering private school vouchers to middle class kids actually improves education for poor children left behind in the defunded public schools?

Go ahead, Bits, give it the old Amway try!

THAT AIN'T IT, CHIEF!

Having belatedly realized that they'd screwed the pooch, Trump rushed in to ... grab the pooch, lift it up, stroke it, and pretend that he had always loved dogs most of all.

The Special Olympics will be funded. I just told my people. I want to fund the Special Olympics. And I just authorized a funding of the Special Olympics. I've been to the Special Olympics, I think it's incredible. And I just authorized a funding. I heard about it this morning, I have overridden my people. We're funding the Special Olympics.

Not for nothing, but the president doesn't "authorize a funding" -- that's Congress's job, and Congress was never in a million years going to cut spending on a wildly popular program like the Special Olympics. Because, unlike the geniuses in Trumpland, they understand that getting re-elected is easier when your constituents don't HATE YOU.

Betsy DeVos harrumphed that she was glad those unnamed Trump officials, cough cough Mick Mulvaney ahem, had seen the light.

I am pleased and grateful the President and I see eye-to-eye on this issue and that he has decided to fund our Special Olympics grant. This is funding I have fought for behind the scenes over the last several years.

And Congressman Pocan hoped someone would "pull Betsy from under the bus."

Lest you think this whole thing was an absolute PR debacle for everyone in Trumpland, never fear! Trump 2020 Communications Director Matt Wolking knows how to deal with this, and it is to shout DEMONRAT ABORTIONISTS DOWN SYNDROME!

Which is a bold position for a guy whose party is actively trying to defund special education and cut Medicaid. But if you want to piss off the disability community, GO FOR IT, DUDE.

Now to enjoy this fine video of Betsy DeVos, master of public relations and totally normal human being with real emotions.

YOU'RE DOING GREAT, SWEETIE!

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