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An Extended Mockery Of John McCain's Gift Shop

What's everyone doing today? Giving speeches. About the economy. To humans. Also, gas prices are high! And everyone in New York City has herpes, ha ha. You all have herpes and the flu too. Let's make fun of John McCain's gift shop some more.


The image up top shows the Best Button we could find in WALNUTS!' gift shop. Jesus, look at those WALNUTS! and the kindly conservative eagle perched on his shoulder. Will John McCain ever make Mount Rushmore? There may not be enough "rock" in the mountain to fill out those cheeks. Otherwise, yes.

Here is the "McCain Blocks Onesie," for small children and baby velociraptors. It has a little three-buttoned flap, for shitting.

Do you have children that you hate? Of course you do. John McCain literally has seven. Well now you can now adopt John McCain and hate him too.

Has John McCain ever divorced you? Here's the perfect bumper sticker to make sure he sends that alimony check instead of divorcing you again.

Or you can somehow customize your own "lapel sticker," such as this one that George W. Bush designed. Actually you can't customize anything, is the phunny part.

[McCain Store]

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Fellow Wonkers, this last week of horror has been wearing on us all, because here we are in a world where the "president" of the United States has ordered that migrant children be taken away from their parents at the border, and is simultaneously proud of it (for his base) and cravenly blaming it on Democrats because even he knows it's morally reprehensible. But what the hell can we do about it, we are all keening, beyond calling our senators and representatives and posting sadness on Twitter, the latter of which is of dubious utility to anyone, and mostly depressing?

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There are perks to being the only Harvard professor willing to shill for the Bush League Mussolini. Everyone else has to haul ass to the Fox studio and sit for hair and makeup. Not Alan Dershowitz! He just parks his laptop in Pee Wee's playhouse and Skypes in that rant. Is he even wearing pants? We hope never to find out!

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