are the new enemies to become.... frienemies?Dear whoever runs things at

We don't care for your website. Just not our thing, ya know? But if Congress has taught us anything, it's that Congress can't teach us anything about working together. We may not like your internets, and you may not like ours, but we must work together to destroy a mutual enemy -- illegal alien spambots, a.k.a. Paultards.

We were impressed with your recent banning of Paultards. We have one or two that we kind of like, but we try our best to ban the others. Nevertheless, these little CGI-based runts find their way to new cyber enclaves, from which they donate $4.3 million dollars to celebrate Guy Fawkes, as popularized by that sad excuse for a film, V for Vendetta.

This is a call for internet bipartisanship. We must declare war on the Paultards! We don't know precisely what this war entails. This is where you come in, since you're the Republicans. You guys know how to carry out wars, right? Strategy and the like? Well, you at least know how to start wars, which is fine with us. We welcome an insurgency. Bring it on, as your leader would say.

As we've both witnessed over the past few years, Congress hasn't passed like, a single bill at all because of immature spats and dangerous political posturing. We will show them how to put aside our differences and work together for AMERICA, by ridding the internet of pompous Paultards. It will be like the U.S. and the Soviet Union teaming up to stop the Nazis. We get to be FDR though. Actually fuck it, we'll be Stalin.

What say ye?

Bon chance,



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