Analyzing The Analysis: Drunkenly Liveblogging Bald Commentators
Oh good God is it over? Where did the nice lady in the suitjacket the color of a Crate & Barrel couch go? Now we see only Keith Olbermann in earth tones. Amazingly, he is less annoying than the Folks asking the questions in tonight's interminable debate.
10:03 PM -- Keith Olbermann did not like the quality of the questioning any more than our commenters did. We need to figure out precisely which Crate & Barrel couch it is that Senator Clinton's jacket resembled. Ha ha it is the Troy loveseat, in Cloud. Poor Barack Obama and his complicated ideas.
10:06 PM -- Eugene Robinson speaks as if his thoraxic cavity could contain a Volkswagen Beetle. Big lungs. Also what was up with the night vision goggles on the audience? Oh there was one significant word in the debate tonight: STILL, which will describe our posture after another glass or two of wine. Robinson dislikes the lack of Freshness in tonight's questions. Boy he is really striving to make this debate sound interesting.
10:09 PM -- You know what was interesting in OUR debate watching experience? The pizza place gave us the wrong pizza, and then gave us the right pizza, and this DRAMA carried out over 30 precious minutes. That was more exciting than Bitter vs. Wright vs. Ayers vs. Capital Gains.
10:11 PM -- Thank god Olbermann has some hair. Robinson is so mad that Kaus stole all the donuts. Next: bald Bob Casey. Rachel Maddow will be with us eventually too hurrah.
10:15 PM -- Ha ha guess who did not like this travesty sham debacle of a debate?
10:18 PM -- O Senator Casey plz tend to the EYEBROWS. Here we go looking at Hillary's Bittergate retort. What is wrong with Senator Casey's face, besides the eyebrows? Has he suffered nerve damage? Bell's Palsy or somesuch? Did you know you can get that by sticking your face in a freezer too fast? True story, we know someone who died that way ("died"="paralyzed face briefly"). Oh wait he is probably just stoned, on LIFE.
10:22 PM -- Gaack Howard Wolfson up next. ALSO BALD. Why does MSNBC hate people who have hair? Did Stephanopoulos ruin it for everyone?
10:26 PM -- Wolfson, leering through his jagged teeth. Not a great night for Senator Obama, he says. He is twice as large as Olbermann and encompasses all of the Eastern Seaboard. He has been summoned on a screen from Space where helicopters hover menacingly in the background. Wolfson's eyes are closing like even he is bored and tired. Speaking of, half a bottle of wine is calling our name. Hope on, losers!