And Baghdad Does Whatever She Please

* Dick Cheney had another busy week: He stood on a boat yelling at Iran, performed a stunning re-enactment of the Nuremberg Rallies and had his comical midget sidekick entertain the U.S. troops in Iraq. Buy that man an iPod!

* Oh, and our beloved veep is also using his telekinetic powers to kill baby deer in Tacoma, and dress up the corpses like human babies.

* Never mind, he wasn't really in Baghdad at all!

* The Wolffucker just wants your respect, while Condi just called to say she loves Paul.

* Hey guys, guess who's in the "cool new people" box on MySpace?

* Why do the Interwebz kidz love libertarian right-winger Ron Paul? Because his Second Life HQ is actually a dope farm!

* Did you hear about the BENCHMARKS? Well, we don't care.

* Bill Richardson just wants a recurring guest spot on "The Office."

* Bush appointed another robot-hating racist to replace the dude on the DC Madam's list. Oh yeah, and Dick Cheney is maybe on her list, too.

* Rudy hates farmers and ferrets. (But he still loves furries.)

* Barry Hussein Obama hates our precious freedoms, such as looking at Britney's cooch.

* North Dakota Senator Byron Dorgan hates prairie dogs ... and helicopters.

* Al Sharpton hates Mormons.

* McCain's national political director hates WALNUTS!

* Mickey Mouse hates the Jews.

* GOP Hill staffer hates the Blacks.

* Republicans hate their presidential candidates.

* Frenchman Scientologist Mitt Romney hates Mr. Spock's seven-year itch.

* We say good-bye to Tony Blair, because we hate him.


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