And Lo Unto Wonkette A Grandchild Is Born
Introducing Tallulah Schoenkopf, heiress to James and Tawnie Schoenkopf, born June 25 and weighing six pounds and some change, and who didn't give her mother hardly any trouble at all. Mother is feeling good and had a delicious shower, and father, who has wanted to be a daddy since he was two years old, is kind of happy okay, I guess, as you can see in the picture. Grandmother has hurty cheeks from smiling too much like she is on acid, and grandfather keeps making fun of her and calling her Granny.
Welcome to Earth, baby. CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR BEST NEW CITIZEN, WORLD.
I love you Tawnie. I love you Jimmy. I LOVE YOU TALLULAH.
Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.