And May All Your Christmases Be White Trash


  • Levi Johnston's OxyContin-dealing mom is back home and under house arrest. It's a Festivus Miracle! [Anchorage Daily News]
  • Some disabled guy called "Gator" pushed an empty wheelchair into a post office in some Virginia hillbilly town, shot a gun at nothing, and held a couple people hostage for nine hours. He asked for pizza, then gave up. And so would've Dickens, if this was the material he had to work with .... [CNN/WDBJ]
  • A couple of wingnut Cubano-hermano hard-ons in Florida announced they're no longer supporting Republican governor and straight man Charlie Crist for U.S. Senate. Congressman Lincoln Diaz-Balart (Lincoln!) says Crist "left us no alternative and he knows why.'' [Miami Herald]
  • More people are moving out of Nevada and Florida, and more people are moving to Texas, which is really a step down, even from fucking Florida. [Washington Post]
  • Oh hey the nasal H1N1 pig-aids vaccines aren't working, either. [Star-Tribune/Wheeling Intelligencer]
  • Bernie Madoff, age 71, was moved to a hospital-prison for unknown health reasons, somewhat lowering the chances that he'll serve his entire 150-year prison term. [ABC News]

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