And The Rams Kind Of Suck, Too


So what do we know about George Allen?

  • Will not be President. Sorry!

  • May, however, win votes on "Last Comic Standing"

  • Has a haircut that will not quit

  • Hates the Green Bay Packers

From Fifth Quarter, his sister's memoir, regarding the young George's hatred for a neighborhood Packers fan and his mailbox:

[The mailbox often] lay smashed in the street, a casualty of my brothers' drive-by to school in the morning. George would swerve his Mach II Mustang while Gregory held a baseball bat out the window to clear the mailbox off its post. . . . Lately, the Packers fan had resorted to stapling a Kleenex box to the mailbox post to receive his mail. George's red Mustang screeched up beside us, the Packers fan's Kleenex mailbox speared on the antenna.

See, this is the sort of thing that you should be releasing for damage control, George. Mercy, everybody hates Packers fans, what with their smug, beady eyes and their Mark Chmura-defending. Now, if you could only let us know how you feel about the WNBA, maybe the nation could learn to love you again!


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