And With That, Senator Miller Put the Straw Back in His Mouth and Resumed Whittling
Senator Zell Miller more than makes up for the tardiness of his commentary on Tittygate with his awesome command of the English language. Check his flavorful description of the boobie: "an exposed mammary gland with a pull-tab attached to it." (Note subtle indictment of the beverage industry!) And the delicious sarcasm in his description of Nelly: "[T]hat prancing, dancing, strutting, rutting guy evidently suffering from jock itch because he kept yelling and grabbing his crotch. But then, maybe there’s a crotch grabbing culture I’ve unaware of." (It's baseball, Zell, but we'll let that one slide.) Then there's his dressing down of Kid Rock: "But as bad as all this was, the thing that yanked my chain the hardest was seeing that ignoramus with his pointed head stuck up through a hole he had cut in the flag of the United States of America, screaming about having ‘a bottle of scotch and watching lots of crotch.’ Think about that."
We've thought about it, actually, and here's our advice: When criticizing lewd behavior, do not use the phrase "yanked my chain." We're just saying.