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Andrew Breitbart Gropes Youth At 9/12 Death Picnic

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Your Wonkette foolishly agreed to help Liz Glover and her fancy VICE Teevee crew "cover" the 9/12 FreedomWorks picnic. We will file a full report on this monstrosity shortly, but until then: Andrew Breitbart fingerbanged Riley Waggaman, and it was weird and probably illegal.


Look at Liz Glover, laughing instead of calling 9/11.

Many thanks to photojournalist Jeff Malet (visit him on the World Wide Web right here) for documenting this patriotic embrace. (The second photo, the one where Liz is not helping, was taken by a lady from National Geographic. Why was she at the 9/12 rally? To see the wild animals hump things, duh.)

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On Monday, Gloria Vanderbilt -- socialite, jeans lady, and mom of Anderson Cooper -- passed away at the age of 95. In more normal times, this would merely result in a few obituaries and tributes about her life, and the requisite few RIP tweets.

Unfortunately, we do not live in normal times. These days, no celebrity can die without it becoming the purview of the crazypants QAnon cult, followers of which believe that no one ever dies under normal circumstances, especially not 95-year-old ladies.

Vanderbilt and her family were already something of an obsession with these people due to several "Q proofs" accusing her of doing magic spells, wearing magic illuminati owl necklaces, and [checks notes] doing something involving "red shoes," which the QAnon people think people only wear if they love sacrificing children to Satan.

Yes, this is a thing. No, I do not know if they are also mad at Elvis Costello.

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Spinal Tap - Gimme Some Money

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