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Andrew FrankenSullivan Takes the TV Tonight

A cruel rumor goes out: semi-con pundit Andrew Sullivan isn't on hiatus from blogging, he's actually dead. Hey, that's mean! But, if it were only true, perhaps the zombie Sullivan could take on the zombie bin Laden? That's clearly the only way we'll catch that slippery terrorist. And boy howdy, the script writes itself—'K Street' meets Jerry Bruckheimer, though we're thinking porn...


But really: we can confirm that Sullivan is booked for some serious talking-head TV time tonight after the State of the Union, so rumors of his status among the walking undead are greatly exaggerated. Besides, no amount of makeup can make the undead presentable on the cable nets—for evidence, we refer you to the recently decompensating and truly unholy visage of Ann Coulter.

Remind me to tell you about the time in Provincetown a few summers back when Sullivan, aboard his trusty bike, darted in front of my pickup truck. It seemed like an eternity before finally my foot chose to settle on the brake, but apparently his God exerts some kind of mystical Catholic force field around him.

andrew sullivan: hiatus, retired, or...dead?!?!? [Regular Staple]

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