Angry Republican Donors Literally Crapping On Fundraising Pleas

Who will be the president of Poop Mountain?Things are looking pretty rough in Republican fundraising circles these days...except for an elite group of operatives who accept campaign contributions in the only denomination that still holds its value in the global market: human feces.

A billion-word article in the New York Times details the dull and predictable life of Oklahoma Congressman Tom Cole, the chairman of the National Republican Congressional Committee, who is cursed with asking Republican donors for money this year. But wait, what's this?

Many conservative activists have become so dissatisfied with the party's heresies, particularly on immigration and government spending, that as Cole's staff took over, the committee's fund-raising pleas were being ignored and, on at least one occasion, returned in an envelope stuffed with feces.

Yes, it's true! The NRCC is now accepting donations of human excrement in lieu of the sinking dollar. We are sorry for all the people in the mail room.

A Case of the Blues [New York Times]


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