Anti-Soul Cabal Kills Another Two Ex-Presidents

Back, and to the left ... back, and to the left ... back, and to the left - WonketteWhile there have been many successful government conspiracies against the American people -- Enron, Iran-Contra, the S&L collapse, "Dancing With the Stars," 9/11, etc. -- the proletariat prefers simpler narratives, such as the troubling connections between the tragic loss of Gerald Ford and James Brown within a few hours of each other.

All the evidence of a massive, far-reaching riddle wrapped in an enigma, after the jump.

The Godfather of Soul and the Temp President did have a warm friendship that spanned generations, but there's no clear evidence that Brown's coke-crazed soul burst free from the ether for long enough to strangle Ford.

But there is circumstantial evidence that suggests the Sinister Aryan Cabal that actually runs the government had Ford "taken out" to cut short America's mourning for James Brown, who was best known for being a psychotic dope fiend and starring as "Apollo Creed" in one of the "Rocky" movies about 25 years ago.

The proof? The same thing sort of happened way back in June of 2004, when Ray Charles tragically died. America came to a standstill. Truly, we were a Nation Challenged.

But within 24 hours, an elaborate "state funeral" for Ronald Reagan was launched, and there was nothing else on the teevee for the week. By the time it was over, Americans had tragically forgotten all about soul/R&B/country legend Ray Charles.

Skeptics say this theory makes no sense, because Reagan actually expired on June 4 and Charles died six days later, on June 10. And we say, Duh, time machine!

Brown, Ford deaths continue trend of influential black musician overshadowed by boring ex-Prez tributes [The Neoskeptic]


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