How much do you hate fake news sites like National Report, which serves only to get the gullible to recirculate poorly written "satire" as truth? All of the hate, right? This week, another of those sites, News Nerd, trotted out a story about Patti Labelle punching Aretha Franklin and now Aretha is suing. Go Aretha.
First, a part of the fake news story, which appears on a website that looks entirely like a real website until you scroll all the way down the page to find a brief "this is for entertainment purposes" disclaimer, except many people do not scroll down for that! Here's the ill-written yet semi-realistic account of the LaBelle assault.
While Aretha Franklin was making her way to the stage, Labelle extended her hand to greet the “Respect” singer, when she threw epic shade in an effort to avoid her. [...]
Franklin was quickly struck [by LaBelle] with a Mayweather style right and left and stumbled backwards, landing awkwardly. Bystanders subdued Labelle and escorted her outside of the venue. Franklin suffered only minor injuries.
Labelle was quickly apprehended by the Atlanta Police Department and charged with assault and battery. She was released on a $10,000 bail and will appear in court on April 16th.
See? That does not really sound fake! It sounds like a 10th-grader wrote it, but it sounds like a real story.
Aretha Franklin Will Do Right, Sue Bad Satire Site Out Of Business
I think they should sued for sucking the funny out of the rest of the world.
I'm thinking Jeannie's gonna hafta shampoo that thing pretty soon.