Argue Amongst Yourselves: Announcing A Rough Draft Of The Wonket Drinky Thing Midwest/Southwest June World Tour!
O hai, we are just making this itinerary. We are getting in the car and actually taking a vacation, one that includes paying someone to be us on this here mommyblog while we are gone, so our only responsibilities for just shy of three weeks will be buying you beer and seeing our mama. It has no dates attached to it except for "mid to late June," and many of the smaller places (we are talking to you Des Moines) are negotiable for other towns and cities nearby if we hear from a whole bunch of folks that, say, FUCK DES MOINES, etc. So check it:
Somewhere around June 15 or 16 or one millionth, we leave Los Angeles for ....
Phoenix, AZ. We move on to Albuquerque (hi Barb), then to our mama's in Oklahoma, where we stay on her land for a few days, have a party in OKC and another in Norman or Tecumseh, and leave our old sweet dog (we are talking about our actual dog, not our mother). Then it's on to St. Louis (probly), a couple few days in Chicago, and on to either Madison or Milwaukee. Then we visit Snipy in Minneapolis for a couple (PLS INVITE PRINCE AND KEITH ELLISON), and head back south through Des Moines and Kansas City. (WE CAN BE TALKED OUT OF KANSAS CITY, AS KANSAS CITY IS A FUCKING PIT. Topeka, if you are in the house, then MAKE YOUR WISHES KNOWN!) After KC or something else in that general neighborhood, it's back to our mama's for a day and south to Dallas, on to Austin (YES WE SAID AUSTIN), something like Las Cruces (but maybe Midland or Odessa instead?), and home.
Also, Miamians (Miamiotans?), we will be in Miami Beach July 11 to 13, and will be throwing a Drinky Thing for you and you only. We expect you to furnish the finest in Scarface sized mountains of cocaine and supermodels.
And there you have it. Kindly commence fighting in the comments for our attention. Also, buddies: money talks.
Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.