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Why is our socialist Kenyan Marxist Muslim president being so NEGATIVE, hmm? The richest 1% of Americans are doinggreat! Corporate profits are at an all time high! It should be champagne and caviar for EVERYONE but NO, Obama is insisting on talking about something called the “Middle Class.” Of course, as Senator Jon Kyl (R-Arizona) points out, the existence of such a class is a total fiction because of rising income inequality because there is no such thing as “middle class values.” Even if there were (but there aren’t!), you shouldn’t run around DISCUSSING them, in PUBLIC, when you are the President, because it is un-American! And when you do it, you pit the middle class against people like Michael Jordan, which is bad for everyone. Jon Kyl kindly explained this to his colleagues and to the American people during a speech he made Monday on the Senate floor.


“We have a president who talks incessantly about class, particularly the middle class,” Kyl said.

"I just think the whole discussion of class is wrong. It's not what we do here in America," said Kyl, the Senate minority whip. He added, "I don't think there's anything called 'middle class values' that are different from the values of other people in this country. Tell me what's different about the values of someone who the president identifies as middle class?"…

When Michael Jordan came, after he established how great he would be, he was given an enormous, almost unheard of salary. Did the other players say, 'That's not fair?' No, actually all the other players got big salary increases, too," Kyl said. "The whole franchise did well, the people selling popcorn, the people parking the cars ... made more money than they ever would have had Michael Jordan never came to the team."

Oh yeah, the NBA cheerleaders who still earn between $50 and $135 per game and the minimum wage workers who sell popcorn at the Chicago Stadium and the janitors at the Chicago Stadium and the little kids in China who make the Nike shoes that Michael Jordan eventually got the opportunity to act as a highly paid spokesperson for — well, even though their wages didn’t exactly go UP because of Michael Jordan’s salary, they weren’t jealous! Not one bit. So let's all just calm down about this "class" business, and go back to worshipping our economic and social betters as though they are the Michael Jordans of the economy, which they totally are.

[Huffington Post]

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The Dumb Song Of J. Dinesh Prufrock

A quick Dear Shitferbrains for you smart kids today, in response to our recent piece on Dinesh D'Souza's continued insistence that historian Kevin M. Kruse please bitchslap him with facts again and again. It turns out we picked the wrong historian to lionize, according to "Hadding Scott," who dropped by to let us know we had foolishly referred to a mere Princeton professor instead of to the most comprehensive take-down-er of D'Souza's lies, "Hadding Scott" himself.

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Among the primary results from Tuesday that we didn't report: Chris Murphy, US Senator from Connecticut, managed to hold on to the Democratic nomination for a second term. Actually, if you want to get all technical about it, he didn't win the nom Tuesday -- he'd already been nominated at the state party convention in May, and the Dem primary was cancelled since Murphy was the only one to file. Murphy's also heavily favored to win reelection this fall. The biggest question for Murphy is whether he's hoping to seek some other office in a couple years. (As if any prominent Democratic senator hasn't already mentally compared their inaugural crowd size to Trump's.)

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