While "constantly propositioned" D.C. intern Abbie Finfrock is disappointingly demure as far as naming names, one pent-up Washington insider who probably hasn't hit on her is carnally dormant pundit Armstrong Williams, who in his latest column, writes, "One of the greatest challenges in my life is the struggle to abstain from premarital sex. It is not easy."
To overcome his powerful natural urges, the 46-year-old Williams calls upon equally powerful imagery: "In case anyone missed the point, [Rev. Donald D. Robinson, former Director of the D.C. Mayor's office on religious affairs,] took a pack of gum from his pocket and gave everyone in the front row a stick. About 25 minutes later, he returned to the topic of the gum. When participants remarked that the flavor is fading, Robinson offered to share his stick. Before they could respond, he plucked the gooey wad from his mouth and held it out like precious offering. The would-be recipients lurched back in disgust. The point, explains Robinson: 'If you are prematurely sexually active, by the time you have become married, you're like a chewed up piece of gum -- all of your flavor, freshness and sweetness is gone.'" At right, a photo of Armstrong Williams practicing his sweet, fresh, and flavorful look. — GREG BEATO
The Clinton Effect [Wonkette.com]