Army Amusement Park: Like Six Flags, but With Grenada-Themed Log Flume

Army officials rejected this plan for the site as "too spooky."

Following closely on the heels of the forthcoming upgrade of the Vietnam Memorial ("frag" your parents with authentic wacky paintball rifle!), the Army is pleased to announce that to pay for its somber, Medal of Honor-shaped national museum at Fort Belvoir, it will have to contract some hucksters to build a theme park. An Army Theme Park! Oh, the fun we'll have:

"You can command the latest M-1 tank, feel the rush of a paratrooper freefall, fly a Cobra Gunship or defend your B-17 as a waist gunner,"

Special bonus: you get to keep your limbs! And it's all slightly less gay than Disneyland!

While that proposal is from an unsolicited bid that the Army refuses to comment on, they have expanded their proposed plan for the museum complex from 75 to 125 acres, which seems like just enough room to honor our veterans and ride a kickass roller coaster. While the Post, which rustled up the quoted bid, takes a rather bemused tone, CNN seems to find the idea as totally awesome as we do:


Army Ponders Amusement Venue, Hotel at Ft. Belvoir [WP]

C'mon Kids, Let's Go to Army World! [CNN]


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc