As Fred Thompson Goes, So Goes The Wonkette

Jay Leno and Hollywood Fred Thompson announcing that they are president - WonketteWell, there was another goddamned debate tonight -- Republicans, New Hampshire, whatever -- and we didn't "live blog" this one because if we live-blogged every one of these quiz shows we would have to, you know, cease working during the daytime, when everybody wants to read Wonkette. But we will give you a quick list of what didn't happen tonight, just in case you've stopped by Wonkette for (or with) a nightcap.

* Hollywood Fred Thompson didn't show up, because he was in Burbank California mocking the New Hampshire rubes. This was his way of "announcing his candidacy" and it pissed off the few people who are paying attention at this point.

* Among the offended was someone named Fergus Cullen, the state's GOP chairman, who is angry about Hollywood Fred "trading jokes" with Jay Leno while the other guys had to go talk about abortion in motherfucking New Hampshire. "I just think [he's] sending the wrong message to New Hampshire voters," Cullen told the LA Times.

* Old Walnuts McCain was pissed off, too, because he sees the 101-year-old Thompson as a petulant child. "Maybe it's past his bedtime," McCain said of the debate Fred skipped just as Fred has skipped every debate. Or maybe it wasn't past his bedtime, because Fred was in California with Jay Leno, but whatever.

* Ferret-Face Giuliani did show up in New Hampshire, where he showed his usual love of dressing up and play acting. Rudy accused Thompson of having "done a pretty good job of playing my part on Law and Order." WTF, fascist?

* Mike Huckabee said something about how he was invited to be on the Jay Leno program, too. We don't know if that was supposed to be one of his "jokes."

* New Hampshire is apparently pretty close to Massachusetts, so everybody knew Mitt Romney was just telling lies about how he's such a big conservative.

* Other people were there, as well, including (obviously) RON PAUL WHO TOTALLY WON THE DEBATE GO RON PAUL!


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