AP is reporting that Attorney General John Ashcroft is in intensive care at George Washington University Hospital after being admitted last night for a "severe case of gallstone pancreatitis." (And it must have been very bad if they didn't risk the traffic to take him to Georgetown.) Doctors will know more in the next two days.
Until then, Wonkette would like to remind you that this event moves the Homeland Comedy Advisory System to Orange Alert: Ashcroft jokes, such as references to faith healing and having "the gall," should be filed and stored, but are inadmissible as public humor under the Patriot Act's little-known "Inappropriate Comedy" clause. While it is unlikely you will be observed if you share these jokes with close friends, the Justice Department may subpoena records (including phone conversations and text messaging communications) for evidence of insubordinate (i.e., "terrorist-enabling") humor.
Please stay tuned to Wonkette for further updates on the status of the Homeland Comedy Advisory System.