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Ask Grand Ayatollah Ali Al-Sistani

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Take it from us, living under the teachings of Iraq Shiite leader Ali al-Sistani sometimes gets pretty complicated. Can I wear nail polish? Can I go to a cockfight? It's a full-time job keeping all the edicts straight! Thankfully, al-Sistani's got a helpful Web site that clearly lays out what's what. Gossiping? It's a sin. Shaking hands with women? Not under his watch. Ass-fucking? Well, er, that depends:


Question : What is the ruling on anal sex? Is a Moslem allowed to have anal sex?

Answer : Based on the widely held opinion of Shiite scholars this act (anal sex) is strongly Makrooh (undesirable, what is not Haram to do, but it is better to avoid). There is no objection to the couple getting pleasure from the entire body of one another. But it should be taken into consideration that some actions are beneath human dignity.

Eh, human dignity's overrated. Seriously, this Web site is the gift that keeps on giving. You know, like the Iraq war is to terrorist recruitment!

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