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Rep. Who Voted To Repeal Obamacare Tries To 'Jimmy Kimmel's Baby' Her Son. NOPE.

Don't worry, Rep. McMorris Rodgers, YOUR son will be fine!

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Raise Less Corn, More Hell! Everything You Need To Know For May Day

It's our fifth or 20th recitation of everything our mama taught us. You're welcome!

Here is your fifth or twentieth annual listicle of Mi Mamacita Communista, or Things My Mother Taught Me, for May Day. Could you imagine on May 1, 2016, that we would be here today, our universe flying apart at the seams? We haven't particularly had to march the past few (eight) years, but everything old is new again. Put on your sensible justice shoes, join up with the middle aged and old women leading the #Resistance, and meet me at the other side.

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It's Meatball Day! HAHAHA No, Not Trump's Sad Brain. Meatballs For Eatin'!

I make these once a year, because I am lazy and they have like THREE STEPS. Who wants to make a dinner that takes THREE STEPS? Not me that is who!

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Shepherd's Pie. Seasonal Food For Un-Seasonable Weather

Shepherd's pie to warm you up. Oh, you're already warm? THANKS AL GORE.

OK, so it's late February, and we're starting to look forward to spring, when all this terrible snow and freezing weather will finally leave us. When we'll be able to shed our heavy jackets, and consider, hopefully, whether or not it's time for shorts yet: only a few more weeks of this bleak, bitter cold . . .

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Braised Beef Shanks. Forward To The Past!

We now live under an administration that derides modernity in all things. Education should be guided by Bronze Age mythology. Settled medical consensus is rejected in favor of lies and poorly constructed, misleading arguments regarding the side effects and the dangers & effectiveness of vaccines. Climate science is not just questioned, but dismissed out of hand as merely a conspiracy theory. Considering their antipathy for all things Arabic (except for petrodollars. They lervs them some petrodollars!), one wonders if they also deny the validity of algebra!

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What Stew Is It You Wanna Taste? Your Open Thread!

Put this easy, delicious beef stew on heavy rotation!

It's trendy to laugh at it, and them, now that they're pretty much a cover band of themselves, and their stereotypical fanbase is mullet-wearing mouthbreathers, but love it or hate it, we're all familiar with the absurdly overplayed, iconic, live version of Lynyrd Skynyrd's Freebird*. If you aren't, FFS, familiarize yourself. Scoff at it if you must, but this is basic Americana that youneed to know!

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Grown-Up Chicken SO GOOD SO TASTY SO YOU MAKE IT RIGHT NOW.

OK, so: President Bannon, fascist dictatorship, Constitutional crisis, WTF did he just tweet? Pissed off allies, Putin puppet, marriage equality LOL, RESISTANCE! PROTESTS! *Yawn*

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A Law Professor's Measured Take On Neil Gorsuch And Why Originalism Is Full Of Sh*t

Come on in and learn something!

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Hi Handsome, Wise Donald Trump, Here Is Why You Should Nominate Hillary Clinton To The Supreme Court!

Here, President Trump, we made you a really good idea!

Look, President Trump! We used a handsome picture of you!

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Here's A Video Of What Trump's Five Minute Standing Ovation At The CIA Might Have Looked Like, For Science!

Donald Trump got the greatest ovation in history probably.

On Saturday, White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer claimed that President Trump's recent speech to the CIA earned his boss "a five-minute standing ovation at the end in a display of their patriotism and their enthusiasm for his presidency."

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Dickhole Smegma-Face Jason Chaffetz Needs A Manners Lesson, And Wonkette Is Just The Blog To Give It To Him

Come and listen to our gentle murmurs.

We don't know how we missed the news on Friday (yes we do, we were drinking shots with your compatriots at the Bottom Line bar). But did you know Congressman Jason Chaffetz is a tiny hard pellet of a really noxious turd?

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Have Some Jewish Penicillin, Because We All Feel Pretty Sick Right Now

Part of Yr Wonkette's self care regimen. Also yummy for its own sake.

Real Soup Doesn't Come In Cans

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DeploraBall Guests Told Not To Heil Hitler, And No Dirty Dancing Either

Also Jim Hoft, Stupidest Man On The Internet, will now be an official White House Correspondent.

Hey! So remember that time the "alt-right" had a party and they Nazi-saluted all over the place with Tila Tequila? Sure you do!

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Beef Wellington: Proof That I Have Lost My Damn Mind

Are you ready for Pinkham's meat?

Mistakes were made.

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America Hates Obamacare So Much The Signup Deadline's Been Extended To Handle The Crowds

Missed the Obamacare sign-up deadline yesterday? Great news!

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day...

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What Is This Thing Called Wonket? Is It Mean, Funny, Fake, Or Just 'Different'? A Guide For Brad

In reply to a reader query, we try to explain what we do here.

Remain calm. Everything is norbal.

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