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Asshole General Takes the Stand

gonzoo.jpgThis hearing is fucking ridiculous. We said it before: Alberto Gonzales is, somehow, against all odds, the single smuggest asshole in this administration. Despite also being dumber, probably, than everyone but Paul Wolfowitz.


John Cornyn (who, despite being smug and dumb, is not even close to the same level as Gonzo) just asked him some mildly critical softball. Here is our paraphrase of Alberto Gonzales' answer:

"What would I have done differently? I woulda fired more federal prosecutors, see? No, wait, I woulda had Kyle Sampson fire more of 'em! And even quicker! No, wait, I woulda had Kyle Sampson savagely beat them in addition to firing them! And, uh... then we'd kidnap their wives!"

Then John segued gracefully into some insane Human Events Online border patrol conspiracy shit.

The only person who's really been nice to poor Gonzales is Jeff Sessions, and even he suggested that Al's dug himself into a huge fucking hole.

In Testimony, Gonzales Says Firings Were Justified [NYT]

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